It’s interesting to me how the strangest things remind me of how much time has gone by when you have kids. Like when you carry them to bed and more and more of their limbs hang over your arms until there is just too much of them to carry anymore. The first morning you oversleep and don’t wake in a panic that one of your children has set the house on fire while you were sleeping. When they can suddenly see over counters or reach higher shelves than before.
One day you’re buckling you’re infant into her re-facing car seat and the next they’re buckling themself in without even a booster seat! No more strollers or wagons, they’re all too big now. When I see my youngest finally wearing something that both her older sisters wore I get a little nostalgic for when my older ones were smaller.
I definitely have no desire to go back in time. I do not miss the days of diapers, of waking every few hours to either feed, change, soothe, or clean up accidents, nor the days of tantrums and wild energy. It was exhausting! I actually watch this passage of time with joy. I get to be a part of watching these amazing people develop and decide who they’re going to be. I get to rediscover things I’ve loved along the way and have forgotten about. They teach me all kinds of new things about the world, and about myself.
That, to me, is one of the greatest gifts my kids have given me. I can see myself so much more clearly and they make me want to be the person I have always dreamed myself to be. We work together at being kinder, at forgiving and moving on, taking time and space away if we need it. My husband and I both really try to talk about their big feelings with them, and through this, we talk about how we’re all really unsure of what’s going to happen next, and none of us really know. But that’s okay as long as we are together and help each other through as a family. We have to be more forgiving right now because everyone is a bit off these days and we could all use a little more forgiveness-both ways.
So as we find our ways to mark the passing of time during these unusual months, I hope you can take a pause every once in a while, and take stock of where your time has led you and what your present moment can teach you about yourself. With that, you can make the choice to continue or change. Just know that while continuing may seem easier, and it can be for a while, in the long run, the struggle, the effort, and often the pain of change, births beautiful things.