Turning Thirty-five

35. That’s how old I am now. I like the way that sounds. 35. It feels like such an important number. I’ve been pretty excited for this birthday. Not as excited as I was for my 30th, but a quiet, subdued, excited. I also gave birth to my third and final baby four days after turning 30. It’s crazy to think about how much we’ve been through since then.

Five years ago we had basically just moved into this apartment with almost nothing. At least it feels that way when you look around our home now. It’s as though the walls and the floors and the furniture just barf up clothes and toys and books and weird odds and ends. It’s strange to look at pictures of those years and see how barren the place was when we were a small family of four. Now we’re a family of five and about to work on getting the younger two into the larger bedroom so our oldest can have her own room. I think it will take this time. We tried it before, but they all wound up in the same room anyway. That was two years ago.

All three of our kids had their first day of school while living in this house. Oh the excitement of the first day, the craziness of the mornings, how big their backpacks use to be on them. Now our oldest is getting closer to middle school and our youngest will be in her second year of school, kindergarten.

When our youngest was born, we agreed it was time for their father to go back to school. He graduated with high marks and an associates degree just days before we found out that his recently diagnosed genetic condition, that can cause capillary deformities, had created an aneurism in his brain that was actually quite large, along with some other clusters on the other side as well. We have spent many days in a hospital over an hour away to get his care over the last two years, and I have perfected knitting in a waiting room. Or sewing together a long granny square jacket in the ER. Several medical procedures later and we’ve got his brain healing and our relationship. He had massive personality changes during the years leading up to us even knowing anything was wrong. Explosive fights. Such a rage I had never seen in him. It was miraculous the change in him as the pressure in his head waned. After not even realizing I had lost him, I had my husband back. The girls had their father back.

I also made a life altering job change over a year ago. I had held down a job that was draining me and undervaluing me for years. It was my life’s passion. Is one of my life’s passions, but I was not in the right place for it. It wasn’t all bad. I loved my clients and a few of my co-workers, but it was not a healthy place to be. Especially with all my family was going through. A few things happened over a few months and it gave me the kick I needed to make the change. Now I work in one of the most amazing environments and have been able to flourish as a massage therapist and energy worker. I also have the control over my schedule I have always dreamed of to be able to be with my kids. That was always the plan. And now we’re living it.

So this year I just wanted to spend some time in the woods, buy some books, and knit while relaxing with my family. And we did just that. It has definitely been some character defining years from 30-35, and I have earned my age. I have earned the sprinkling of greys that started before I even turned 30. And I have earned quietly enjoying my birthday. Here’s to being 35!