I Wrote a Facebook Post

I did it. I wrote a post in a writing group. I tend to avoid engaging in conversations on Facebook outside of friendly ones with people I’m actually friends with. It’s opening a can of worms and there’s a reason I dropped out of debate club in high school.

I can totally appreciate people having different tastes and opinions when it comes to the stories we read and watch. Stories are powerful magic and can inspire change or encourage outdated ideas. They can become part of who we are. They can also just be for fun. So it is important to be aware of what you put out there.

There is a lot that is popular that I don’t like or even think is bad, but I’m not going to go around deliberately tearing them, and the fans, down. That is just wrong and often comes out being elitist.

The post was in defense of Twilight and 50 Shades. I will not sit here and say they are beacons of perfection (I actually only read the first two books of 50 Shades, have not seen the movie, and read it for only one reason-but I have read the Twilight saga 3 or 4 times and Life and Death). My issue is not that people don’t like it, it’s with this ingrained need to be hypercritical of the fiction/media young women and adult women consume as though we do not have the ability to know what is good for us. I have a problem with the criticisms unconsciously infantilizing women. It’s absurd.

I’m also tired of everything being called abusive. It undermines real abuse. Discussing aspects that may not be healthy in the relationship, ok. To not recognize that relationships are often between two messy people, that there is room for forgiveness, and that true love inspires both to do better as they learn and grow together is ridiculous.

I’m also tired of people feeling the need to police women’s consumption of porn. That enjoying violent sexual fantasies is wrong when women do it, but ok when men consume violent porn. If you criticize both, fine, you’re not a hypocrite. However, there is a difference between what people enjoy through fantasy and what they want from reality. Assuming people (specifically women) can’t be trusted to know their own desires is obnoxious.

One of these days I will finally write an essay series about all the different aspects of why so much of the criticism Twilight (in particular) receives is faulty and ignores the sexism of those opinions. How history shows us that not much has changed in how we regard women and their pursuits.

In the meantime, I’m going to go check that post. It’s been extremely eventful and engaging so far. I am definitely not agreeing with everyone, but at least it’s a better conversation than is usually had on the subject of Twilight and 50 Shades.