A couple weeks ago a friend of mine texted to ask if I had ever read this book. I said no, and that was the last I heard until I saw her. She was really excited about it. We’re sort of reading buddies, but it’s more of a shared understanding because we don’t often have the same taste. Similar, but not.
Her excitement got me excited and so I was a bit anxious to finish the Heartstopper books. I was real giddy about how many books I’ve read so far when I started reading, which is good because this book is going to take a while.
It pulls you right in like you’re already a part of the story. A book lovers delight and a rich story that leaves me needing to catch my breath. I want to read it all the time, but I won’t start unless I know I won’t be interrupted.
I’ve come to really enjoy having a loose idea of what I can make, getting all these supplies, and then just rolling with it.
This one took me a while to decide on, but once I did it was easy to get the kids involved. Turkey apple meatballs with onions. Roasted broccoli and cauliflower. Underneath all that, and the Parmesan cheese, is three kinds of pasta with red sauce. Just what was hanging around. It was delicious and a big hit!
The kids always love cheddar broccoli eggs. The poor sweet potatoes, though. They were good, but the onions kind of wrecked it. This time the middle one helped out and we got it done in time for her to eat and get back to class for FID (school on a snow day).
This meal doesn’t look like much, but it was all around amazing. Somewhere in there is a baked potato that was split in half, covered by sautéed broccoli, corn, and kidney beans, and topped with cheese. If I hadn’t hit the end of my energy limit, I would have made this with ground beef the night before. But I did, and I slept instead of cooking, and the meat went bad. Beans it is!
So, I’m actually really happy about this fight they have and was more thrown by how long it took them to make-up. But it makes sense. With this novella, I think Alice Oseman has become one of my favorite authors. I don’t have many favorites because I love so many authors, but there are a few who really understand the world so well that I will read almost anything they write and reread their works.
Shifting perspective back and forth was great. I had a similar fight with a friend of mine when I was faced with moving to another state back in 7th grade. I couldn’t stop talking about how exciting it was and she hated hearing about it because she felt I couldn’t wait to leave her. I was really trying to convince myself I wasn’t sad about leaving. When we finally talked about it, we made up and are actually still in touch.
Heartstopper can be so rosy and kind, that it can feel a bit less real to me, which is the point. It’s supposed to be kind. That’s why I appreciate the novellas so much. We get a darker story where the characters make regular teen mistakes, but we still know it’s going to be ok.
I thought the way they made up was cute. Perfectly them. It was really a wonderful story to end on. I’m looking forward to volume six, whenever it finally comes out (it’s going to be a while, and that’s ok). I’m also glad it ends with volume six. It’s been a journey and it feels like it’s due for an end.
This one felt rather jumpy to me. Like it was too hyper to sit still. Very fitting for teens figuring out sex for the first time. I had a lot of trust in Alice Oseman to handle this topic with care. I was not disappointed.
Now, I have a lot of feelings and opinions on teenage sex. I did begin my foray into it all in high school, feeling very ready, but looking back (without regrets) I wish I had been less focused on it and more focused on other aspects of my life.
I get really uncomfortable with teens doing these things on tv shows. They’re kids for crying out loud! I mean, I remember feeling this way as a teen, but I also remember wishing there was less emphasis on it and more on everything else a teen has going on. Oseman balanced it all well.
Nick and Charlie are really sweet in this. Talking about it with friends. Dealing with other people’s assumptions. Figuring it out while also realizing what’s coming in a year. When Nick has to leave for university.
This volume was very teenaged. Lots of life happening quickly. Rapidly figuring out parts of yourself. Taking on challenges and growing. This story felt lighter than the rest. Charlie was more teen than ever before. I appreciate Jane’s measured approach. Her allowing Charlie space while being firm about expectations and staying focused on himself.
Seeing Nick do a trip with Tara and Elle was great. Giving him a chance to really talk about his feelings and have honest feedback. For him to be an honest supportive friend back. To see him really begin to open up to who he could be.
Finishing this volume with both Nick and Charlie enjoying their lives while apart was beautiful. I remember that all consuming need to be together. I still don’t like being away from my husband for long, and get all fluttery when I see him again. But those times apart have been good for us. To remember we can stand on our own. That we choose to come home to each other every time because it really is the only place we want to be.
While I think they’re too young, this is one of those expertly crafted stories where it makes all the sense in the world for these two to be together forever. Sometimes you find each other young. That’s beautiful. Oseman has made it clear that there is no world in which Nick and Charlie don’t find each other, and I like that. It’s comforting. It takes away all the anxiety and allows me to really enjoy the journey.
That’s life, though. Learning to embrace the journey and the relationships we build along the way.
I don’t know what to say about this volume. I read it in two sections and read This Winter and Solitaire in between. That way the story’s timeline sort of pans out.
Nick is so wonderful in trying to support his boyfriend. I love how close he is with his mom and her honesty with him. I really love that the adults in these kids lives aren’t just props. They are guides and boundary keepers.
You can’t fix someone else. But you can make a plan to help. You can reach out to those around you. Support is available.
I remember trying to tell my mom how bad my depression had gotten. I was so afraid to tell her. Not because she wouldn’t believe me, or be mad. I was worried about how hurt she was going to be. She had been in therapy and figuring out the right medications to take. Actually, my mom’s mental health required a stay in a hospital for treatment while I was in high school. I knew she’d blame herself for passing it on to me. I knew it would hurt her, but me not getting help might hurt worse.
And of course it wasn’t her fault. How many generations ignored these issues? How generations of unhealed trauma does she carry? My mom is where the cycle began to break. I’m doing my best to continue that work. I did get help after I finally let her see a depressive episode. I was such a mess and I had no explanation. It felt really good to stop hiding. For both of us.
Thankfully what little bit of therapy I did was useful and the medication I tried stopped the works long enough to give me some breathing room. After quitting all that, I continued the work on my own and reminded myself to rely on my friends, just as I wanted them to rely on me. It’s not easy, but we all try.
So, I came back to Volume Four after reading about their holiday and getting to know Tori Spring. It was a relief, even entering at Charlie’s hospital stay.
I only visited my mom once. My dad didn’t drive and we had to figure out a ride with a friend. Looking back, my dad was even worse at handling all of this than I had thought at the time (and I was angry about his lack of effort back then). His wife was falling apart and he could barely be bothered to be there for her or their kids. To pull himself out of his own feelings for the sake of the rest of us. My dad chose the bar over his family and all I’ve got left is sadness. He needed help too. I get that. But unlike the rest of us, he never recognized it.
This is the beauty of these books. I get to sort through the messy bits of my youth with compassion. To use the same lens as Heartstopper to view my own life through encourages a softer perspective. Now that I’m past some of the most exhausting years of my life (so far), I’m working through old trauma. It feels good. Tough, but good.
This volume finishes with the holidays and with Nick and Charlie becoming a more solid couple. It ends with them just being teenagers.
All the smaller side stories that play in the background of the main characters only amplify the messages. The support, the need for a community, and how everyone is in the middle of their own story. Compassion at the heart of it all.
Sometimes I really wonder about myself. I felt so peaceful after my first read of Solitaire by Alice Oseman. This time, I’m feeling a bit heavier.
I think I missed some of the darkness because it’s so normal to me. I had massive depression in high school and grew up in a family with a dark sense of humor as a coping skill. And yes, it was a well developed skill.
Oseman even stated that a lot of people enjoyed the novel because they felt seen and less lonely. It wasn’t about fixing anything. It’s just life for some of us. Fixes and pity don’t help.
I was both Tori and Becky in high school. Different extremes of trying to make sense of myself and life, while trying to figure out my place and being a little wild. I was a bit like Lucas, too caught up in the fantasy to see the truth. And like Michael. So much anger saddled against wonderment. The odd duck.
It’s still a wild trip to think this is the novel that started it all. How the whole Nick and Charlie universe evolved from these bit characters.
It’s refreshing to read something with dark mental health themes that isn’t actually depressing. It’s compassionate, kind, honest.
Seeing both Tori and Charlie regret not doing something when they saw their sibling struggling. To hear Charlie’s anguish for not trying to help, reminded me of conversations I have with my sister these days. I wish I had been a better sister. She reminds me we were just kids. I still tell her, I wish I had been better, and I’m so glad we’re getting better at being there for each other now.
I’m going to plow right back into Heartstopper because this novel is hitting a lot harder the second time around. I still read it in large gulps, unable to focus on much else until I finished. So I’m going to take a balm, even as we dive into darker themes in the Nick and Charlie story.
Well that was wonderful. I hadn’t planned on reading it in a day, but I did. In fact, I read Heartstopper earlier today, stopping in Volume Four to read this.
I liked getting each kid’s perspective on the day. Starting with Tori, early in the morning, we get an introduction to life in the Spring family. Their dynamics are clear and Tori is so perceptive- mostly. I love her directness.
Then Charlie takes over the story. While we know him pretty well from the graphic novels, the prose format gives a deeper dive into the way he thinks. As sweet and thoughtful as he can be, he’s still a teen with mental health issues.
Oseman’s ability to portray the everyday reality of dealing with these difficulties is so comforting. I remember these same fears as a kid. Would people treat me like a fragile child just because I struggle with panic attacks and depression? And some did. I hated it. Others acted as though nothing was wrong, this was just as frustrating. But how do you explain what you need?
I feel like these books can be a great guide to taking steps to help yourself or others. How to be supportive. This is the kind of “you’re not alone” that would have felt helpful as a teenager, instead of the “lots of other people suffer just like you” sort of thing I was told.
I appreciate Oseman’s focus on the journey of healing. The work it takes. The honesty of living with it every day. Showing how everyone in your life is a part of it. How not reaching out to the people who love you can be worse than asking for help.
As the story winds down and the festivities are ending, we get the youngest sibling’s view. Seven year old Oliver is obviously thoughtful and energetic. He has a way of simplifying what silly older people complicate. His adoration for his older siblings is so sweet.
We get to end with them all back home together. This was really sweet. I loved focusing on the siblings. Holidays usual help with bonding, even when it’s a disaster.
I’m in a waffling mood with knitting right now. Everything took a back seat for my sales knits and even those are getting dull.
I think I just have too many projects going. I really want to get a few more hats done so I’m ahead of schedule for next winter. But the tartan plaid idea butted in thanks to a beautiful gift from my sister. A bag full of small skeins of complementary colors.
As much as I’m enjoying making progress on this large cowl, my eyes kept pulling to the green and charcoal Buffalo plaid double knit scarf, deliberately laid within easy reach for whenever my fingers craved its repetitive rhythm.
Slowly, but surely it’s getting longer. I don’t like the way my stitches come out when I use my left hand for the yarn, so both strands get wrapped around my right forefinger and I fiddle with separating the strands as I need to. This does create a lot of twisted yarns, which is slightly annoying to undo, but not enough to make me find a different way. Or maybe…
I was also going to deliberately create smaller squares and larger ones mixed in with the regular sized squares, but now I’m not so sure. There’s something really comforting about the evenly sized squares…
I guess my two cabling projects will just have to wait. The Buffalo plaid will take another year (most likely), but I think I can get the tartan done before winter is over. If I can stay focused. I want it big so it will hopefully sit a certain way. I’m experimenting with what I like. My favorite kind of knitting.
A while back, I joined a Heartstopper fan group on Facebook. It’s a rather beautiful group of support, kindness, and real love. It’s not over the top (mostly) and there are some really great discussions.
One topic I’ve struggled with is the overwhelming negativity towards Charlie’s mother, Jane. I rather like her. Now, on this reread, I’m remembering how different she is in the show. This apology isn’t there. She’s a mom who struggles, but tries. Us parents are usually doing the best we can and I like seeing this in the novels.
Then there’s Nick’s friends’ apology. It was really sweet. Then the scenes with the Rugby coach. So perfect!
Again, the way Oseman creates feelings with her blocking and style. So much happens on this Paris trip, but that’s high school, right? Every relationship evolving in a short span of time. That dropping pit that you just really screwed up with your best friend.
The way you can feel Charlie passing out. The slipping away of his surroundings and that hazy vision. You can feel him about to fall.
Then we have this fantastic moment where Charlie tells off Harry. It’s a bit switched up in the show and this speech gets revamped for the narcissistic ex. I love how Oseman shows healthy apologies; that real relationships (of any kind) take work. Then also shows how to stand up to false ones. That forgiveness doesn’t always include allowing someone back into your life.
Then we finish, set up for getting into some deeper issues in the next volume.
This volume focused on Nick’s journey of discovering his bisexuality and those early stages of getting to know each other’s friends.
These two are so sweet together and I really love watching the friendship group develop and seeing the different ways they support each other. It feels very reminiscent of my high school friend group.
The emotions portrayed in this one scene is so great. Nick is always so mellow, that to see this explosive anger in defense of Charlie was powerful. World shattering.
Followed by the shock of what he’d done and the other kid’s retaliation punch. These moments are so well illustrated.
I am also so appreciative of a bisexual centered story. I mean, it’s really only a piece of the story, but is also an important piece. I’m really excited to see more bi characters with a more realistic portrayal. A recognition of our existence. A validation I pretended I didn’t need.
Now, off to Paris with the gang and an adventure in coming out.
The Accidental Domestic Goddess 