There are many aspects of Alice Oseman’s Heartstopper world to appreciate. The layers captured in something so simple.
For my third time reading this, I really wanted to pay attention to the comic elements. The visuals that tell so much of the story. That broken feeling in this image.
The way an abuser can cut through your day, your mood so completely.
The way even happiness can be torn away from you by your own thoughts.
How time can be turned into an ellipsis of snow.
How a simple gesture, or touch, can hold so much weight.
I really tried to slow down and take it all in. Ending with the scene at the birthday party is rough. Thankfully I don’t have to wait for what comes next.
There was one piece of Virgin River by Robyn Carr that I was surprised to enjoy. The pregnancies and delivery stories. They were actually some of my favorite bits.
I’ve had an interesting relationship with this area of life. I’ve mentioned I never wanted to be a mother until I met my husband. My first two pregnancies were tough. I couldn’t work. I was sick all the time. My third pregnancy was better, but I still felt like a prisoner in my own body. I really hated being pregnant.
Except when they moved around. That was my favorite.
I also do prenatal and postnatal massage. I really like working with these clients. Being able to ease their anxieties and help support them through the journey. I really encourage that postnatal massage about 2-3 months after delivery. It does wonders to gently support the body as it heals from its trials. It’s incredible what our bodies go through, however we deliver.
After three of my own deliveries, I couldn’t watch them on tv. It’s too much. They’re always so intense, life-threatening, and fearful. Even the beautiful variations are too much.
So I was unsure of how I was going to respond to this aspect of the book. I skip these scenes in the show. My deliveries, while never necessarily life threatening, were all difficult. Long. Exhausting affairs. I have been working through my trauma because it’s also wrapped up in a lot of joy. Extremes are difficult for me. The middle is more comfortable. More stable.
I didn’t skip these scenes in the book. They’re softer on the page. More compassionate than in the show. I appreciate the approach to it all. I think it was helpful to have this solid character who decides the outlook. Sees what’s happening and knows what to do. The author plays less to the fear and more towards respect. I really appreciated it.
I also want to note that the sex scenes are beautiful. They’re more emotional sensory driven than physical. The scenes last long enough to not get uncomfortable and fit perfectly within the narrative.
I really appreciate the emotional focus of this novel. The multi-perspective approach allows for a deeper connection to these characters and the community that makes the town thrive. It’s a beautiful story.
I did start this last month, but the holidays interrupted. Once I got back into it, I just really wanted to see how this book ended. I got excited at 100 pages to go. Then I had 80 pages left, then 60. It felt like I wasn’t ever going to get through.
The action is pretty captivating, but I kept getting interrupted by my kids (mostly my youngest who is struggling for attention because her preteen siblings are entering the self-involved stage of development and prefer to be left alone). I’m so gripped by the story and my munchkin wanted to read to me the story she’s writing. Of course I had to listen.
Then she held a memorial service for her dead clay cat that she made at the Crayola Experience in New Jersey (it was a nightmare, apparently. Very expensive and chaotic excursion with the grandparents). It broke and got squished and so she created a casket with a shoe box, set up chairs, and had us all say a few words about Citty (pronounced kitty).
After that, I finally had some time to really focus on this book. It’s the kind of ending I race through because I need to know. The kind of ending I can’t drag out because of the itch in my brain. Having watched the series, I was anxious to find out how the first book wrapped up compared to the show.
Now it’s done and I’ve already begun my Heartstopper reread. I’m excited to revisit this story and add two more books to the mix.
Keeping track of everything for a family of five is a struggle. I signed up for being the primary parent, but I really underestimated the load.
My planner is key to everything. It fits in my purse, but is big enough for me to put everything on it and tuck important papers into it. I need a physical location for all of it. My planner is my Master Key.
Then, I have the wall calendar. Everything from my planner that the family needs is put onto it. School stuff, doctor appointments, my unusual work schedule, family visits, …
I have cork-boards and a magnetic dry erase board for school notes, permission slips, event notices, check reminders. I regularly look it over and keep it up to date.
I keep a small notebook with all kinds of important information handy. A list of all my bills, the companies, their phone numbers. Special chores or reminders. This has been really helpful for my scattered tendencies.
Recently, I started keeping a medical notebook and sectioned it for everyone in the family. We’re all developing quite the rap sheet and I really hate not being able to answer simple questions for doctors. It fits in my purse and I keep notes on medications, appointments, ER visits, dentist appointments, dates for it all.
I have notebooks just for meal planning and shopping lists. Notebooks just for my knitting projects and patterns. Notebooks for massage notes. Notebooks for random lists, ideas, creations, story starts or middles.
The main things that keep me mostly on track is my purse planner, the wall calendar, and the two pocket notebooks with handy references. The school wall helps a lot with three kids.
I’m learning as I go. Staying organized has been one of those priorities that sometimes triggers my dangerous OCD, or cripples me from doing anything at all. Mostly, all the effort I put in soothes both my OCD and anxiety and leaves me feeling prepared and therefore, less anxious.
Organization, for me and my way of thinking, often looks chaotic. I’ve spent years trying to find what works best for me. It shifts and changes as our needs change, but I think I’ve figured out a good system.
I’ve noticed something about myself. I seem to have a lot to say about a book while I’m reading it, especially as I get towards the end. Once I finish it, all the deep, elegant thoughts I had stewing turn dry and lumpy. As though closing the story distances me.
Since I’m almost done with Virgin River by Robyn Carr, I wanted to get some ideas down before they turn to mush and I move on to the next thing.
I was sitting with my husband the other night and decided to read the blurb on the back of the novel. I laughed. If that was all I had to go on, I never would have picked it up to read. A widow who wants to start fresh by leaving the city to live in a rural mountain town with a handsome, charming man and an abandoned baby.
Although, now that I think about it, I left a city for a fresh start in a mountain town and met my husband and decided to stay when staying hadn’t been the plan. I had a bad ex instead of a dead husband, and there was no abandoned baby. But nothing in the book blurb sounded like my kind of read.
Last year, I took the kids on a vacation with my mom, my sister, her husband, and their dog to a cabin in the woods, surrounded by other such cabins/houses. They had Netflix and I randomly put on Virgin River because none of us had watched it yet. We were hooked. It’s not my usual kind of show, but I really enjoyed it.
They released Christmas episodes for the holiday and I decided to try the books after watching them. I’m glad I did. I love the book. I like the slower pace of the story. I couldn’t handle the show having a slower pace, but with the book it’s nice.
I really appreciate how the main romance is effortless, and yet, has its challenges. It doesn’t take forever to happen, but isn’t magically simple. I love the array of characters and getting a larger experience with all of them.
I appreciate having seen the show first so I can insert images. I have a hazy sort of imagination. There are only a few authors who have really painted clear pictures for me (Elliott James is the only one I can think of at the moment).
The one character that keeps making me giggle, though, is Jack. He’s shorter in the show than in the books, but I prefer what he looks like in the show, so some of the action is funny because he’s supposed to be really tall and I’m picturing someone who’s definitely not six feet.
I guess that’s it for now. Hopefully I can finish it soon. I’ve got too many books I’m itching to read.
I knew I was missing something those last two rounds. I was feeling pretty confident about my grasp of this pattern, so I ignored that little voice telling me the second section of grey was a little longer than felt right.
Thankfully, I caught this issue with only two rows to fix and, I can use the tail ends to secure the loose yarn that’s left behind. It might not be pretty, but it’ll do.
I’m wiggling and puffing stitches as I go. Sticking my needles into finished v’s and tugging to even them out. I’m trying to remember to keep my carry back floats loose. I don’t have a lot of experience with this amount of color work, but I’m definitely having fun.
I returned a few books to the library and so figured I’d borrow what I’m planning on reading next because I’m almost done with Virgin River. Solitaire was the only one on the shelf and so checked that out and made my way to Target.
I love Marceline! I got into the show in my twenties and now it’s something I watch with my kids.
I had to exchange a shirt anyway. The five of us (my spouse and kids) each picked a graphic tee for ourselves while getting gifts for his family. My husband was convinced a men’s medium would fit me, I knew it would be too snug for my comfort, but got the medium just in case he was right. Surprise! I was right. It’s not like I’ve ever shopped in the men’s section before (big eye roll here, if it wasn’t obvious).
The large fits great and I found both This Winter and Nick and Charlie at a price that made it easy to buy both. But that’s it for a while now. I have plenty on my shelves at home to keep me busy in any mood. In fact. I’m going to get to Virgin River and finish knitting some of those hats I sell. January reading list, here I come!
It feels good to be an avid reader once more. I’m pretty proud of how much I was able to read this year. I’m also really excited by how much my kids have gotten back into reading.
During the beginning of the year I didn’t read much. I think my knitting kept me pretty busy. I read The Sanatorium by Sarah Pearse, a gothic thriller. This definitely was a frightening read. Then Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman. Magical realism at its finest. I grew up with the movie and have a love for both now.
Next came a folk horror and a steampunk, fantasy, adventure. The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher had me jumping at shadows, while The Mortal World had this nerd grinning in delight on the edge of my seat. It’s part of The Invisible Library series by Genevieve Cogman and one I highly recommend.
Summer was when I really got reading and was taking the kids to the library regularly.
I made my way through five of the Fever series by Karen Marie Moning. They are romance, I guess, but I think of them as more of an urban fantasy adventure. This was my second time reading them and they were even better than I remembered. I really appreciated the author’s reminders that the story is about hope, especially as it got really bleak.
I also started rereading the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series by Laurell K. Hamilton. I started this series at 19 thanks to a really enthusiastic recommendation from my friend. I’ve started a reread several times, but I usually get distracted. I made it through four of them this year and am ready to start book eight. This is definitely a favorite of mine.
I read a few comic volumes and graphic novels. Wonder Woman Historia by Kelly Sue DeConnick was absolutely brilliant. I loved the theme and getting the history of Diana’s mother and the Amazonians. I recall having preferences with the artists, but I loved seeing the different styles in this volume. I read a few Archie m/Riverdale comics too.
Then I got hooked on Heartstopper by Alice Oseman and read the four graphic novels a couple times and then devoured Solitaire. I recently bought and finished the fifth novel and am eager to read all of the books straight through in timeline order. I’d prefer paperback, but until I can find them in a store, I’ll just keep borrowing them from the public library.
When Fall began I seemed to gravitate towards historical nonfiction and horror. I read The Butchering Art by Lindsey Fitzharris and Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu concurrently. Fitzharris brought history alive in this book, addressing every aspect of life and easily showing how it was all connected. I had chills reading the gothic novel about an alluring creature that could love you while killing you.
I was finally able to finish The Woman They Could Not Silence by Kate Moore. Elizabeth Packard was a truly inspiring woman and I’m grateful these stories are being unearthed and brought to light. It was difficult to endure history like this, but it is one I am drawn to.
I followed that up with The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher. I think I have a new favorite author. This was truly a surprise at every turn. Kingfisher artfully pushes just far enough to make you unsure of how far you are actually willing to follow, then pulls back while leaving the edge of crazy under your skin.
I started a couple books in December, but the only one I finished was the fifth Heartstopper. I’m going to keep reading Virgin River and tally that for this month. Then, I’m hoping I can get back to When Women Were Dragons. It’s absolutely amazing. I think I just needed a holiday kind of break. Virgin River fits the bill.
That’s a grand total of 24 books. Two a month. Really, there were months I read nothing and months I read a lot. Some books were so short I read them a couple of times. Others took more dedicated reading sessions to get through without my attention span getting bored. These authors were hard to resist, so I had no problem spending my days off reading and getting household responsibilities done in one long swoop. Or doing that in reverse.
I hope everyone is proud of whatever they were able to read, if reading is important to you. The desire and ability to read can ebb and flow, so I’m rolling along wherever my mood takes me. Happy reading!
I started another project. Yep. And no, I haven’t finished any other projects. I got yarn for Christmas and it urged me to make something I’ve been thinking about for a little while. What can I say? I need a new cowl.
For this I’m doing long floats. I don’t have the patience… Now I’m rethinking this whole thing. I really hate to rip this all out, but I might make this whole thing easier if I do. I’ve got the pattern worked out. So this might just have been the practice run.
Ugh. I still have hats to make. A hooded shawl in the works. A sweater on the needles that needs some frogging to change what I was doing. A green and charcoal Buffalo plaid double knit scarf that will take a year to finish. And now this beast. Guess I’m spending some time saying goodbye to what I’ve got here.
The 90’s seem to be on everyone’s minds these days. A magical time before cell phones and streaming services. A time when there was tv specifically for families.
I have been rewatching some classics, like Family Matters, Home Improvement, and Boy Meets World. As I watched, I became aware of how much I focus in on the sibling relationships. Particularly the eldest brother.
I’ve always done this. As a kid, I was searching for what was normal. What is an older brother supposed to be like? How are they supposed to treat their younger siblings? Why did I feel like I was missing out on something?
As an adult, I’ve had the benefit of time and experience to finally realize how off my own older brother was. I’ve come to realize that while I was watching to make sense of our relationship, my brother was taking notes on how he was supposed to behave. Mimicking what he saw.
See, I never thought my brother didn’t understand emotions. He has them. He feels things. I just never understood that his narcissism meant his feelings stopped at the edge of himself.
I recently started watching Killing Eve. As the one character studies people’s behavior and tries to mimic them without really understanding them I saw my brother. His attempts to be normal. But I’ve seen what’s behind the curtain. I know what he is.
It’s a strange experience to overlay my current understanding of him and my childhood with how I remember it. It’s a strange process to heal these old wounds that I did not realize were there. It’s weird reworking my memories so that they stay happy while examining the truth behind those memories.
Sometimes I feel sick thinking about how long I let him be a part of my life. We were so close for a long time. We had an apartment together. We hung out with the same people. We made each other coffee in the morning. We talked almost every week when I moved away. He was one of my best friends. Except, he really wasn’t.
This is going to take a long time for me to process. It’s been bliss to not get anxious when he calls (because he doesn’t call anymore, because I blocked him). It’s been wonderful to not have his criticism and lecturing in my ear. It sucks when I see or hear something that makes me want to call him, and then suddenly remembering I don’t want to talk to him anymore.
I’m grateful to be able to watch these classic family shows and find some healing along the way. The feel-good scripts with wholesome values has been a gentle form of therapy. So I guess that’s a part of why I’ve been so nostalgic for the 90’s. I’m working through healing old hurts and making peace with my past.
The Accidental Domestic Goddess 