It’s been just over one week since we left. One week without him and we are doing so well. The kids are really blooming. Opening up. Feeling free. They’re taking on responsibilities willingly. Helping each other out. I felt like going through old journals. Show the kids a bit of what I was like atContinue reading “One Week”
Category Archives: family
Did Not See That Coming
I’m still in the thick of it. The wild whirl of tasks and appointments crowding daily life. Processing evolving information and feelings. I made a very big change. A change I have every right to talk about, but it’s so big, and so fresh, I’m not sure I’m comfortable enough to be specific. I knewContinue reading “Did Not See That Coming”
Your Parent’s Family
I’m really struggling with some heavily layered emotions right now. My dad’s youngest sister passed a month or so ago. My great aunt from my dad’s mother passed. My grandfather just passed the other day. My first cousin once removed (my dad’s cousin, aka uncle cousin) has recently started reaching out, which I’m delighted about.Continue reading “Your Parent’s Family”
Beans and Planning
Another day of hardly tackling any tasks. I took devices until the kids took care of their chores from yesterday. Chores got done quickly. I did some dishes. I got a corner more clear in the youngest’s mess of a bedroom (I got about half the room done a week ago). I caught up onContinue reading “Beans and Planning”
The Second Time is Harder
Raising kids has never been an easy task. I want to write something deeply profound about my experience. I’m so tired. We sat in that stripped bare room again. No bags allowed. Sat and waited for them to find a place to send her. They’re all struggling. They’re all in therapy. It’s hard. It’s relentless.Continue reading “The Second Time is Harder”
Appearances
I might look like a carefree middle-aged woman enjoying good music, relaxing on a hot Sunday, and I am, but it’s not just that. This is what the hard work for my mental health looks like. Music therapy to combat the anxiety. The thing that’s keeping me from thoroughly cleaning the back hallway to avoidContinue reading “Appearances”
Sisters, Grief, and Getting Things Done
I had wondered when the nightly phone calls would not be nightly anymore. When we would slowly begin talking less again. Eight months. It’s bittersweet. I drove the, almost, five hours to her house with the kids on my own this time. We had planned this trip months ago, and the kids needed it. IContinue reading “Sisters, Grief, and Getting Things Done”
Still Waiting
All I know is he’s looking at my car now. I need to work tomorrow and have no idea how to get there if my car isn’t fixed. It’s still early. I tried to start the kids’ remote instructional day with pancakes, sheet pan style, but I don’t have enough eggs. I’m out of groundContinue reading “Still Waiting”
Unexpected Service
We all knew this Christmas would be different. Each time we do something that he should have been here for makes it more real. It hurts more. My sister has been going to a grief group for a few months now. (I can’t believe it’s been four and a half months.) The minister who leadsContinue reading “Unexpected Service”
The Things That Can Tickle Us
My mom arrived at my sister’s a few days before we did. On my nightly call with her, our mom got really excited to show me something she got for each of us. Slipping it on to show me mine, I bust out into the most tickled laughter! Then my mom put her beer inContinue reading “The Things That Can Tickle Us”
The Accidental Domestic Goddess 