The Accidental Domestic Goddess

What Now?

After reading When Women Were Dragons and then Homegoing, I’m kind of left unsure of what to read.

I gave up on the book I was reading. Just not a subject of interest for me. I gave it a solid effort, though.

I tried a murder mystery, but it’s much like all the other ones I don’t like. I thought about trying A Court of Thorns and Roses, but I’m not sure I’m ready yet. I’m really worried I won’t like it.

Then a fantasy horror I’ve heard good reviews of that is sitting on my shelf. Maybe I’m in the mood for that. No. I’m not.

I feel like I’m ADHD wandering in my own head. Like I do in between tasks at home. I can’t sit down and settle because dinner will never get made, but it’s too early to start it, so I wander the house aimlessly.

Ok, fine. I’ll try Blue Moon again. I can still clearly see scenes from this one. I’m not looking forward to more of Richard’s bs, but I recall enjoying other characters. And Anita is always awesome. Wonderfully and frustratingly flawed, and always herself.

Not Finishing This One

Another book I picked up because I heard it discussed a few times was Our Kind of People. I thought it’d be fun to learn about some history.

Lawrence Otis Graham has done a wonderful job detailing the layers of the American black elite while also making it personal. I liked the conversational tone and stories. I definitely learned a lot.

However, halfway through it, I just can’t keep going. I’m not really interested in wealthy society. How it pertains to the greater culture, sure. Not as an isolated subject. While Graham does an excellent job layering these ideas, the book is about the elite and I just can’t.

So, I recommend it if the subject interests you. I’m going to have to let it go.

Something Needs to Change

While January is the month where I batten down the hatches and do my best to get through, February seems to be when I pay for that survival with mild depression and a yearning to change my circumstances. It’s time to make some plans and take better care of myself.

Both yoga and Tai Chi are great for helping me maintain great form and posture during massages. They both keep me more grounded and centered, allowing me to be more present at work, and at home. This will be for every morning. I’ll begin with a yoga routine that specifically focuses on opening yourself up, while staying protected. Then I’ll practice a Tai Chi move or two. I want to take my time really feeling the postures and the movements so that they become muscle memory.

This will be my goal for every morning. If I do nothing else for myself the rest of the day, at least I will have done something. This is my minimum goal. I’ve tried this method before and I held to it for a little while. Here’s to making it stick longer this time.

Then I set up 5 other workouts. Three to four moves to make sure I have time for a warm-up and then stretching after. And time for three sets. The magic number for so many things! I love kickboxing and boxing workouts, so a few from that for cardio. The Six-Pack Abs workout is laid out to target each set of abdominals, so I picked one from each plane of movement. I’ve got to balance that out with some back and shoulder work, so a couple from this straightforward back routine for another day.

Pilates is another form of exercise that builds strength the way I need it; in those deep muscles that allow freedom of movement throughout the body, so I’ve got a day of Pilates. Then more yoga focused on the whole core for another day.

There’s my plan. I number the days instead of assigning a day of the week. This way I get to them when I’m able and do them in order. Less pressure, more motivating.

I do have an evening plan as well. Like the morning one, I hope to do it every day, so at least I have that, too. I’m in too much pain all the time to not do the things I need to to be ok. I recently learned that my threshold is weird. I don’t really register what I’m feeling as pain. I’m just irritated and tired. Once I resolve the pain, or it’s not there for some reason, that’s when I realize I was in pain. Psoriasis taught me that.

I’ve got some simple strength training yoga and a goodnight yoga routine planned. They should help with my main issues and keep me feeling good. As I get this on track, I’ll start working on what I’m eating, too. They go hand in hand after all.

So here’s to creating some positive changes in my life.

First Book of February

I had planned on getting back to rereading some Anita Blake books, but I just wasn’t feeling it following the last two books I read. Even with the 10-20 books I have ready and waiting, I went to the library.

I had heard about Homegoing while listening to a podcast (either Gaslit or Code Switch or both). The relevance to the topic intrigued me and I wrote the title down in my little handy dandy notebook. I moved on and came across the title again in an article. Then a few times in a couple book groups.

So I made a trip to the library for it, and maybe a few other titles I had on my list and dove right in. It only took a page or two for me to settle in and get swept along the time stream.

It’s a breathtaking journey through generations of people living their lives as best they can. How affected by the past we are and how influential on the future we can be. I definitely recommend checking it out and seeing the people behind our history. Behind our story.

Sleeve Time

When I’m making it up as I go, the first sleeve always takes a failed attempt or two. I tend to pick up too many stitches the first run and then try not to scale down too far the second attempt. I prefer to make my best guesses and then use math from there.

Next, I had to decide what to do with the sleeves. I tend to like a variation of the body’s cable for the middle with a simple flank cable. A mix of rhythm and focus knitting. I started with graphing paper and then began writing it out. After a few lines I grabbed scrap yarn.

This allowed me to see where it wasn’t working and adjust until I liked it. Once I had that scribbly mess of a pattern written, I rewrote it a bit more clearly. Now I get to figure out decreases as I go.

I’m still mulling over the collar. I have an idea, but I’m not sure if I set myself up right. We’ll see when I get there. All other projects have been put to the side, for now. I really need to finish something and clear my list a bit. I’ve got other things I want to get to.

January Round-Up

The best part about the first month of the year was how much reading I’ve gotten done. It’s spurring me through February and I’m excited about what I’ve lined up for myself.

I started off with the contemporary romance Virgin River by Robyn Carr. Not something I would usually pick up, but the tv show and book reviews had me give it a try. It was a great read and helped soothe some old wounds.

Then I blazed through the Heartstopper books by Alice Oseman, including This Winter, Solitaire, and Nick and Charlie. I reread the comic volumes a few times. Going back to the parts I really wanted to soak in. My favorites are the book and novellas, though. Solitaire is now on my top favorites list.

Next was a friend’s excited recommendation, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz López. Absolutely marvelous book. Another I would never have picked for myself, but fell in love with it. I gulped this one down, even if it took getting through a rough patch.

I finished the month with When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill. Another to add to my top favorites list. A stellar way to end the most difficult month of the year.

Eight books (I’m counting the 5 comic volumes as 2 books since I reread them a few times). I’m extremely impressed, especially considering all the other things I managed to accomplish as well. There’s so much I want to read right now that I’m trying to keep this pace up.

I feel like a kid again with the way I’m reading!

New Favorite

I started When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill at the end of last year, but it wasn’t really a winter holiday read. I set it aside knowing I’d come back to it. I had other books that felt a bit more pressing and I wanted to be able to really enjoy the rest of the experience.

I was a little afraid it couldn’t possibly be as wonderful as I remembered. As I started up a bit past the halfway mark, I was swept up once again, reassured of my memory. Then the story began to shift and I was actually brought to tears.

Now, I am a crier, but not usually with books. I might gasp, be sad or upset. I might laugh out loud or snort, but I don’t often cry. Might be my reading choices. I cry plenty in real life and at movies, shows, commercials, songs. This book had me crying in the best way. It was just so beautiful.

This is a fiercely feminine tale about memories, society, and love. It’s about becoming, and who we choose to be. Definitely on my top favorite books list. I highly recommend sinking into this one and letting it carry you through its pages. Go get lost in an extraordinary tale.

A Quarter In

I started off really excited by this book. It was thrilling, mysterious, and magical. Breathtaking. I felt transported into another realm.

Now, a fourth of the way in, I’m getting bored. It’s definitely still a good book. Bits of mystery still poke into the plot. The characters are intriguing. But I’m forcing myself to speed read to keep my mind from wandering off. Typically, I’d just give up and move on.

Except, this time, a friend lent me their joy. I keep seeing this title recommended in book groups online. When a post asked what we’re currently reading and I posted this book, many people got excited. They loved it. I’ve got to know what everyone is so excited about, since I’m already this far in.

I’ve also seen many compare his writing to García Márquez. I never did finish One Hundred Years of Solitude. I fudged my way through that school paper. I can see how great the writing is, but it’s just not my flavor.

So, it’s not torture to keep reading this. It’s still good. I simply need to get through it faster than if I was really enjoying it. I don’t want to give it back unfinished. She wouldn’t be upset, but I’d feel better finishing it and not liking it, than to give up. Maybe it will pick up again.

What a Day: Parenting Edition

I wasn’t necessarily expecting a smooth day, but I definitely wasn’t expecting the day I got.

My two middle schoolers needed bloodwork while fasting. Since today was my first day off in over a week, and one of them had a doctor appointment later somewhere else, I figured we’d handle it this morning. I may have missed the neighbor kids who get a ride to the bus stop from me since mine were able to sleep in, but I was up in time, I swear.

Their younger sister came over when it was time for us all to head out. I took her and my youngest to school and then my husband to work. The doctor’s office was nearby and we were in and out pretty quickly. We grabbed breakfast at a gas station and took my oldest to school. Of course I forgot to get notes.

It was really nice to be out with just the older two. They’re so funny and supportive. They’re old enough to do things for themselves without me worrying more than is normal. Having these moments that are so ordinary, yet special, really bring into focus how awesome my kids are. How much they’ve grown.

Then it was off to the next appointment. The timing was weird, so we had time to fill. Of course we bought books and drinks. We got a few groceries too. We had time to talk and read and goof around a little. We were taken back quickly. Checked in and ready for the doctor. Then we waited. And waited.

Half an hour after our appointment was supposed to start (and 45 minutes of being in the same room), I asked about the wait. Ten minutes later the nurse came back to let us know there was an emergency with another patient, but he should be with us soon. Another twenty minutes and I gathered us up to reschedule. I couldn’t even remember what the appointment was for, honestly. I mean I knew what it was for, but not which of the whats.

The nurse sees us and says hang on, she’ll try to get the doctor. He comes out to see us and I almost start crying because I’ve spent so much time in hospitals and doctors appointments over the last several years it triggers me. We went back to the room. I was calm, we established what the appointment was for and he walked my anxious kid through the procedure. She began to remember it from the last time years ago. Same doctor too.

My middle kid has a genetic disorder called Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia, aka HHT. The most common symptom is frequent nose bleeds. It’s basically a capillary disorder where either there’s too many, or not enough. This can lead to internal bleeding and swelling in almost any organ. I’ve written a few posts about my husband’s treatments from years ago. There’s no cure, but it can be managed and they have learned a great deal about it in the last couple decades.

Today was to check her heart. She’ll be doing this every 3-5 years for probably the rest of her life. Better to catch an abnormality early. They do this with a trans thoracic echocardiogram; a bubble test. They look at her heart, then bubble in saline through an IV and look at the heart again. All is well. This may also explain my tears. I don’t want her to have to go through what her father did.

After two hours, we were finally done. The food from the little café there smelled mouthwatering and it was definitely past lunch, so we got something to eat and headed home. It was amazing food!

Oh, to finally be home after all that. But we only had a few moments before my other two came home and my youngest’s friend came over and I’m leaving to pick up their dad from work (the joys of one car, I don’t really mind). Before I left, I checked messages from school and my youngest needed to be checked in with.

A family member that’s the same age as my middle one is really struggling. It’s a difficult situation and the adults are not really aware of how to help, and maybe a little afraid to get help. This young family member confided something to my little girl and it is much too heavy for an eight year old. So we talked a bit and hugged for a while.

I let my husband know, so he’s going to talk to the family and be supportive. I am finally home for the night, but I still have to make dinner and help with homework and the whole bedtime routine. This means I’m not going to be able to sit and rest for another couple hours.

Days like today can be really overwhelming. I’ve learned to focus on the good bits and the successes. All in all it was a good day, just full. Maybe I’ll get to relax a bit tomorrow.